Special Friendships

Friendship is the air we breathe when we’re struggling. We long for friends who are compassionate, understanding and wise. In such people, we find comfort that gives us strength and courage to keep going. Another person’s heart can bless us deeply. God meets our pastoral care needs in friendships, family and church community. Having a variety of friendships with singles, couples, both young and old is how the Church is meant to be. Inter-generational friendships can be rich, unique and bring much joy to both people. Such friendships promote well-being and spiritual growth.

Wise friends aka my ‘other mothers’ have helped me navigate life’s transitions, hopes and losses. When I was a single woman and at times depressed, I was blessed by the hospitality of Christian women. We would have a cuppa at home, a cafe or go on a walk together. I was often surprised by what difficulties my friends had faced in younger years. These women have comforted me with the comfort they received in their sufferings. My friends have brought wisdom and perspective I have lacked. We have prayed together and shared in the joy of answered prayer. These friends have made my life sweeter and I trust I have done the same.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.

2 Corinthians 1:3-5 NIV

Fourteen years ago my husband and I (Bronnie Leigh) became friends with Bron and Phil Tait, then pastors at Grace Vineyard Church. We had joined their small group and they played a key role in our marriage preparation. When we experienced a tragedy and I became mentally unwell, Bron and Phil were incredibly supportive. They experienced God’s comfort in their sufferings and they brought this comfort to us. Bron journeyed with me over many years following with such patience, compassion and love. God has brought so much healing, truth and fun through Bron’s insights and sense of humour. Much of what I write here has been inspired by what Bron has shared with me.

Seeking Out Friendship

Seeking out the friendship of someone wiser than yourself may seem daunting but actually, it can touch someone deeply. You may make someone happy to have the opportunity to get to know you. People may be pleasantly surprised at your interest in getting to know them. Sometimes I’ve found it worked best for me to initiate meeting up. If you’re not part of a church, I would recommend joining one that nurtures you. Joining a small group, women’s or men’s ministry can be a great way to meet people. A pastor or leader may also be able to help you make good connections in your church. This time of year may not suit to join activities but it’s worth keeping in mind for the new year.

Finding friendship can take courage, vulnerability and patience. Friendship takes time to cultivate, but sow seeds with faith in what God can do. God provides people for our lives, so pray and be proactive too. You may feel you are in no state for meeting new people – but trust God. He wants you to experience the blessings of being in His family.

Noting

a. Do you have a wise and caring friend or mentor? If not, ask our Father to meet this need and highlight people to seek out.

b. What is one step you could take to meet or get to know someone? e.g., try out a group, ask a pastor or friend for help with this.

Prayer

Father you are my greatest friend and you also know I need friends. I may not be feeling my best, but you know I am lovable. Help me to let others come close me. Show me friendships I could nurture and people to draw closer to. Give me the courage to step out. Thank you that I can also comfort others with the comfort I receive. In Your Name Lord Jesus, Amen.

I’ve been enjoying listening to this new song by Audrey Assad and Porter’s Gate. It is a comforting meditation on God’s love and presence.

Bless you,

Bronnie Tressler