Author: reviving hope

Kia Ora, I'm Bronnie. I live in Aotearoa, New Zealand. I have known mental illness as an acute illness and involving a long process of recovery. Through Christ I have found real hope for recovery, as well as hope for living well in the presence of mental health challenges. I enjoy making curries, taking photos, and growing things.

Reflections

Dear friends,

Thank you for your kind and supportive messages following my last post. I am much improved since last writing. Friendships and family and a few adjustments to life have all helped. And as always medications play their part.

This post I thought I’d capture some brief moments from the year.

Light House at Warea, Taranaki, Aotearoa New Zealand.

Early this year we went as a family to New Plymouth, Taranaki where we had very precious time with family and friends. I find a visit to a lighthouse good for my soul. This was a trip we will always treasure. We have had the sad passing of family and friends this year. I am so grateful for how we have been blessed by their presence in our lives.

Almost the entire year we have had major road works. For weeks, day and night underground water was pumped down our street gutters. The volume of water found by contractors exceeded their expectations and sparked my imagination – this water, living water rushing beneath our streets.

The end result including traffic lights is a huge improvement particularly for cyclists and pedestrians going to school and home safely. Our local dairy had an armed robbery in recent weeks. This has been very concerning as our city has had more crimes like this.

This spring I found my one first peonie rose flower. I planted it about 8 years ago near a basketball hoop and surprise it got trampled! I had thought it was dead. It will definitely find a new home. In this last term I started going to a beginners watercolour painting course. It has been helpful for me to pick up an interest, meet new people and gain artistic skills. We have a fantastic teacher. I’m in for next year.

Jono and I

This month Jono and I have been married 20 years! What a lot has happened in that time. Two babies – now teens, me becoming unwell and becoming well again. We have grown as a couple. It hasn’t always been easy. I think we are very good for each other having accomplished what we have because of being a team with complimentary approaches. I look forward to how we continue to grow together in the coming years and see what God wants to do as we love and serve others.

Conical Hill, Hanmer Springs

Thank you for tracking with me over these past months. I so appreciate the encouraging words given. It has been nice to see there have been readers from overseas. I hope you find encouragements within my posts and do follow my blog if you don’t already.

I pray that you will be blessed this Christmas season and know the freshness of hope found in the person of Jesus Christ. He is our guide, anchor and our light through what can be low lit or worrisome days. If you haven’t read the Bible before, can I encourage you to get a free Bible app (You Version is fabulous) and watch a short daily video or start reading the book of John. Hear the words of Jesus. Even if it’s just for 3 mins a day. Reading the Bible with an open heart has allowed God to transform my life and continue to. Give yourself a gift for your soul this holiday season. God can strengthen your soul as you draw on the love he has for you.

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. – John 1:14

That’s a wonder-filled Christmas thought to finish on!

Mere Kirihimete, Merry Christmas,

Bronnie

Anne

I hope you are enjoying spring. I’m pleased to be into daylight savings and appreciating spring. At the same time, being honest I am finding myself in a season with some challenges. I am attending to self-care and have good support. There have been recent highs in our family and also just the challenges that go with this stage of parenting and life.

We have had a tight knit community of neighbours. Over many years this has made for a wide base for my waiora well-being and sense of belonging. In recent months a neighbour and dear friend died. We also have neighbours preparing to move. The passing of our friend is a significant loss for us. I have long thought how our elders need close relationships with younger generations and to be treasured by them. This is very true. I have also found that Anne met a deep need in my life for friendship and connection. This post is a reflection I wrote weeks after her passing.

Fourteen years ago our lives were changed for the good by meeting Anne, an older neighbour. Her husband was a gentleman, a retired school principal in his nineties.

Anne died in recent months living into her late eighties.

In her first times visiting our home she brought small carved wooden boxes for our young boys to put treasures in. Anne brought so much joy to our lives and she constantly reminded us that we brought much pleasure to hers. She and I were both home-based women so found it easy to connect. Our friendship continually deepened over many years. We had countless tea parties and particularly enjoyed our regular Chanui summer berry teas, raspberries with ice cream and raspberry Pepsi, talking as the sun went down. There is definitely a theme there! She was part of our family taking an interest in our boys, joining us for birthdays, music concerts and at Christmas. Lock downs were made sweeter for seeing each other on fine days, sitting out on her porch in the sunshine with a cuppa. Anne was a retired teacher and great storyteller.

It is a blessing to be around a person with a gift of encouragement. She loved the podcast and encouraged me in this. When I was caught stumped for words or in an awkward situation, Anne would find something humorous or gracious to say.

Anne was surrounded by neighbours who loved her and she loved them. She was interested in people and so grateful for every visit, a gift of food or picked flowers. She was kind, thoughtful and generous to us all. I loved her humor – being quick witted and bringing laughter to those listening.

Something that has struck me even more now she has gone is how our friendship was very beneficial to both of us. She had felt needs for friendship, and I did too. I live in a house full of boys, and like everyone I can have an emotionally challenging day. How nice it was to escape for a tea with a lady friend who always gave such an affectionate welcome. It has been a wonderful blessing to find such a long-time friend living on the other side of the fence. Both hers and my mental, emotional and spiritual well-being was nurtured through this friendship.

I am so grateful to God for Anne, a gift from above. She was also a woman of faith. Our family’s friendship with Anne will always be deeply treasured and I look forward to when I see her next.

There is a richness of life that comes through neighborhood and inter-generational friendships. We are blessed by the season of life we’ve been in. This spring I hope you are finding time to have a tea or walk with family, friends or neighbours.

Blessings,

Bronnie

Hope Beyond a Diagnosis

with Richard Black

I am pleased to announce the arrival of a new Reviving Hope podcast episode! This time I talk with Richard Black about what happens in the space after someone receives a mental health diagnosis. Richard discusses the hope that neuroplasticity offers, and how we can learn to regulate our emotions. I share from my personal experience of being diagnosed with bipolar disorder and the hope that I found following this. Richard is a counsellor and sought after speaker in Aotearoa New Zealand. Richard and I did a recording a few years ago on this topic and got great feedback about it. This time we revisit it with new content for a fresh message.

Richard provides counselling, leadership coaching, training, supervision and church consultation through his organisation Thriving Churches. To find out more you can visit thrivingchurcheshq.

Questions from the podcast episode, for those who have a mental health diagnosis:

  1. What are any benefits you have had from being given a diagnosis?
  2. a) Has being given a diagnosis negatively affected how you see yourself and what you are capable of? b) If so, how could you challenge these beliefs?
  3. What dreams or goals might be realised if you let go of self-limiting beliefs?
  4. What did you learn about neuroplasticity and the relationship of the mind to the brain (the brain’s ability to be shaped by what we think on)?
  5. From what you’ve heard, is there an exercise or approach for managing anxiety you could find helpful to try, e.g., breathing exercises, implementing the four A’s?

If you think it would be helpful, consider discussing your findings with a trusted friend. As always, please do seek out professional help if you need it.

Do subscribe, and share this episode with someone who may be encouraged by this message.

Warm regards,

Bronnie Tressler

Self-Compassion in the Alleyway

Fifteen years ago my experience of losing touch with reality was a sliding scale. My sister was missing and I was mentally, emotionally, and spiritually overwhelmed by what we were experiencing. Today as I walk past this alleyway on a park route, I can picture the scene, a day in a life unraveling.

It’s Autumn 2010. She is 32 years old, a wife and mother of a baby and toddler. Arriving home at the end of the day she finds no one at home. I don’t know where she has been. She has no key to get into the house.  It seems a logical idea to go to her friend’s house, a ten minute walk away. The clothes on the washing line are getting damp so she quickly unpegs them, and dumps the laundry into the baby’s buggy left outside. She doesn’t want the clothes to get stolen while she’s gone. So she pushes the baby buggy full of laundry through the neighbourhood. These actions make perfect sense to her. She walks through the local park going quickly through the alleyway where has recently feared for her safety. When she arrives unannounced to her friend’s house there is no one there. Sighting the petrol station at the corner of the street, she’s off on a mission. At the end of this day, this crazy day, she is taken from the floor of the petrol station for a mental and physical assessment (and is later sent home). Another day, much more unwell she is committed under the mental health act and admitted to hospital.

Today as I walk along this path, I don’t recoil, it’s not a trigger of sorts. Quite the opposite. I actually sense a warmth inside of me – a deep sense of God’s compassion for me. I also feel this compassion from me to myself. I now understand this woman, this mother, so vulnerable. This stretch of large trees and grey gravel has become an almost sacred place. For there the Holy Spirit reminds me time and again, that God was with me in my distress. I was seen and loved.

The reason I have shared this small snippet of a day in decline is because I want to encourage self-compassion for those who have come undone, often in front of others. When looking back on events that you’d rather forget – please know there is more self-compassion to feel. It might be a mental health episode, it might be something else. It could be in your family, at work, church, all of these or more. However it happened, you unraveled.

Making peace with yourself is easier said than done. If appropriate, apologising for what you had control over can be helpful. Shame can loom long. I am so grateful to those who showed me how gracious God is by what they said, didn’t say, for loving reassurances (those were uncountable) and for putting the old things behind us. Women helped restore my life, to germinate confidence and to focus on hope for the day at hand.

‘We love because he first loved us’ – 1 John 4:19

We learn to love because we are loved. To learn self-compassion I first needed to experience Father God’s compassion for me through important people in my life. After a mania, a psychosis that lasted months, I came out the other side highly anxious, severely depressed and cognitively affected. My friend and mentor Bron Tait helped guide me to the arms of the Father. Bron and my mother were compassionate and wise souls giving soul care that helped save my life.

What I share about self-compassion has come out of a long walk with a loving heavenly Father. Those earlier times were marked with wrestling, grief and angst. Over a long period of time I came to a growing revelation of Jesus’ love for me. I came out of that desert more in love with Jesus than ever before.

In receiving God’s love, I think there is some soul care to be done independent of other’s. I think in a sense we need to scoop up and hold our ‘self’, however unattractive, before the One who loves us. It is surrender to love. It is acceptance of where we are, who we are right now. We can lean our weight of belief in God’s forgiveness and kindness towards us. We can activate our faith in Jesus’ work at the Cross for us – to align ourselves with the freedom this brings from condemnation*. We can also learn to trace the compassion of God in our story. Journaling can help with seeing the thread of God’s love and faithfulness in our lives. We can know that all along we have been loved and ever will be. This is true self-compassion first born in Love.

Perhaps you are one who can help encourage another, holding the compassion they need. Or like me – you’ve been the person at the centre of this story. If you can’t find this compassion, seek out a wise and loving friend who can hold that that for you, until you feel it for yourself. Belonging to a healthy Christian church is also a great foundation from which to grow and heal. You may also want to ask God to give you a place of revelation, scriptures, things that help you hook onto God’s compassion. And in doing so, may you find compassion for yourself.

I pray that for you,

Arohanui,

Bronnie

*Romans 8:1 Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

P.S. It’s been a slow start to the year but more material is coming!

4 responses to “Self-Compassion in the Alleyway”

  1. Susan Richardson Avatar
    Susan Richardson

    Love it Bron.
    Self compassion is so important.
    (These words seem so small, when what I’m trying to say is “I see you”)
    Much love xxx

    Get Outlook for Androidhttps://aka.ms/AAb9ysg

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    1. reviving hope Avatar
      reviving hope

      Thanks so much for your lovely comment Susan. That means a lot. I feel very blessed to hear from you! ❤️

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  2. Kathy Mayes Avatar
    Kathy Mayes

    Dear Bron,

    Thankyou for your expression of this time of deep vulnerability and how the love and wisdom , expressed in compassion , has been and is so deeply restorative and life giving. A living encounter with love.

    You are a gift and your words are gift.

    Thankyou

    Kathy

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    1. reviving hope Avatar
      reviving hope

      Hi Kathy,
      Thank you for your kind and thoughtful words. I am encouraged. I like ‘a living encounter with love’. What a beautiful phrase! Arohanui, Bron

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Time to Talk about Porn

With Brett Harvey

In this episode my guest Brett Harvey shares a powerful message.

Brett is the founder of Tāima Kōrero, Time to Talk, a charitable trust that equips parents and educators with the tools to effectively talk about pornography with children and youth. It is helping to mitigate the harmful effects of pornography on young people in Aotearoa New Zealand.

I recently heard Brett speak at a Tāima Kōrero event for parents. I found it incredibly helpful. Brett is an outstanding communicator as you will hear in this conversation. If you are a parent, educator, youth leader or church leader, you will benefit from hearing this conversation.

Brett also has a message for those who consume porn and wish they could give it up. He shares from his own recovery journey. Brett gives practical advice and hope for those finding this journey tough, and for the people who support them. Many who use porn suffer from the shame associated with it. Brett points out from his observations, that ‘churched’ kids experience significantly more shame than those in the general population. This is all the more reason for church leaders to talk about porn, and equip themselves with the resources to do this. Many of us know from lived experience, that shame from mental illness can cause isolation and suffering. There will be those who use porn and experience mental health challenges as well. Please share this vital message with friends, family and church leaders.

Tāima Kōrero has a website with excellent resources. You can also contact Brett through the website:

https://www.taimakorero.co.nz/resources

For counselling services you can visit Mind Health who are based in Christchurch, Aotearoa New Zealand. They also have counsellors in other centers, and offer online counselling.

Ngā mihi nui to Brett for his contribution to the podcast.

Subscribe if you are new to Reviving Hope and would like episodes as they are released in 2025.

Be blessed this summer and Christmas season,

Bronnie
bronnie@revivinghope.life

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The Love of My Morning

My muesli with freshly picked raspberries

Spring seasons greetings! I hope you are enjoying the shift into warmer, longer days. If you missed my last podcast episode ‘A Restored Man’ – you can find the Spotify player at the bottom of the page. It’s a hope-filled reflection on a man who encountered Jesus, and how he can transform our well-being.

This post is all about breakfast!

Recently I’ve been musing on the close relationship I have with my muesli. I started making muesli ever when I left home at 18 years old and recently taught my 17 year old son how to do so also. I don’t have many healthy food rituals but making and eating muesli would have to be one. I feel better physically for starting the day with cereal that is very filling and gives a steady release of energy over the morning. I believe this helps my mood not having the highs and lows of other sweeter cereals. For a serving I make the most of fresh fruit such as; kiwifruit, nectarines, berries from our garden, as well as preserved apricots thanks to my Mum. Wattie’s tinned peaches are a good back up. To finish a bowl off there’s Easiyo greek style unsweetened yoghurt – a firm favourite.

For something different over the apple season we mix the muesli with grated apple from our local orchard. Cox’s Orange apples are good for the sweet/sour combo and mix this through with the greek unsweetened yoghurt. Adding a little cinnamon and runny honey makes this bircher style muesli perfect. My son consumes a giant bowl of this most of the year round. It’s a nice morning ritual.

Recently I was asked for my muesli recipe and thought it was a good opportunity to make one. Perhaps a teenage boy might need it to help out or when leaving home. Varying dried fruit, nuts and seeds, and coconut thread all make for endless possibilities. I enjoy my muesli simple and also find it cost effective for the quantity we eat. It’s quick to make and at around 1.5kg, it fills a large container.

Bronnie’s Muesli

1kg wholegrain oates
3/4 cup sunflower seeds
3/4 cup pumpkin seeds
1 cup roasted unsalted almonds chopped roughly
1/2 cup raisins
Mix together and warm 1/4 cup sunflower oil and 1-2 Tablespoons honey
Pour oil and honey over the oates and seeds (not nuts) and put into a shallow oven tray and mix well to coat mixture

Bake at 150 degrees celsius for 10 mins, stir, bake for 5 mins, stir and bake another 5 min
Let it cool, then add raisins and chopped nuts

Muesli made! Just add yoghurt and your choice of fruit. I have 1/3 cup of muesli with fruit, and our hungriest son has a cup full.
Of course you can change the amount of sweetness from the honey and raisins up or down as it appeals to you. A box of muesli at the supermarket can have around 14% sugar, so I reckon one or two tablespoons of honey can’t go a miss in a big tray of oates.

Best prices

Many of us are feeling the need to be thrifty when it comes to food shopping. I have searched around for the best value for the ingredients. Here are a few notes…
A local Indian Supermarket has the best price on sunflower ($8 per kg) and pumpkin seeds ($15 per kg) in larger bags. I have seen these bulk packets at different Indian food stores. These seeds are almost half the price of the same items at our lower priced supermarket Pak’n Save. Pam’s wholegrain oates made in N.Z are the best price $3 a one kg bag and available at Pak’n Save. Raisins were similar in price at both stores. I buy ‘Value’ roasted unsalted almonds at Pak’n Save.

Easiyo yoghurt maker greek style unsweetened sachets are often $4 on special at Pak’n Save – regular price is $4.50. Each packet makes 1 kg of yoghurt. It would be hard to beat Easiyo’s greek yoghurt for creaminess, thickness and taste!

I’ll leave you with a quote I’m enjoying…

My hope is not in my dreams (my) desires, – it is in the character of God – that you are a good God. My hope is in you.

– Steve Graham

Till next time,

Blessings,

Bronnie

A Restored Man

by Bronnie Tressler

Hello friends,

It’s wonderful that spring is here! More daylight hours really lifts the soul.

When I was younger I avoided reading a particular story about Jesus, but in recent years it has become a significant marker in my spiritual and mental health journey.

This podcast episode I retell this story that has changed my life. It is about a wild man who Jesus heals and restores in a holistic way. It is a confronting miracle that touches every part of this man’s life. He makes a journey from being out of his mind, homeless, and tormented – to being restored, heading back to his home and family. He is a new man, saved and healed by Jesus. This man is given a life mission that equals the greatness of his healing. I believe this powerful transformation offers hope for Jesus’ compassion and healing work in our lives. I also share from my own holistic mental health journey.

I love hearing from listeners so please do drop me a line if you enjoyed listening or if you are interested in finding out more about Jesus.

My email address is  bronnie@revivinghope.life

Arohanui,

Bronnie

“Return to your home and declare who much God has done for you”. So he went away, proclaiming throughout the city how much Jesus had done.

Luke 8:39

Mothers with Young

Kia Ora friend,

We are almost halfway through winter in Aotearoa, New Zealand. It’s nice the days are beginning to get longer.

Last week I shared some of my story with a group of mothers with babies. Preparing for this I reflected on what helped me during this season of my life. I thought I’d share some of it with you.

 When the boys were two and seven months old we had a tragic loss (for more on this listen to episode one of the Reviving Hope podcast). This set off a bipolar episode for me. I was in hospital with our baby for some months. I had medications and an holistic approach to rehabilitation. I returned home from hospital severely depressed, anxious and with OCD thinking. Despite this I had to do all the things a mother needs to do. Getting out of bed in the morning was incredibly difficult.  

We had phenomenal support from family, friends, neighbours, church whānau, and mental health services. God restored me as I mothered, as I did those every day necessary activities, the routines, and structures that organised me. I was getting up at a regular time, walking to kindy, talking with other mothers, making meals, doing the laundry, gathering with church and doing everything else. The activities of daily life were therapeutic for me. I knew these principals from my previous work as an occupational therapist but had to put them into practice. I enrolled in my local Bible College. While studying it gave me a mental break from my anxiety as I had other positive things to think about. God used all these things to help me get well.

I thought I’d share some thoughts and reflections on my spiritual life when mothering.

Pray above the noise

When the kids were young I met with a couple of Christian friends who would catch up and pray together. My friend Ruth was great at seizing the moment, making opportunity to pray together near the end of a visit, but before the kids got too spent. She would pray above the noise and we would stop when we were drowned out by the kids, and then go home. No matter how short a time we prayed I always felt ministered to.

If you don’t have good supports, I encourage you to ask Father God to bring people to you, and guide you to places you can meet and pray with others. Many churches provide groups for mothers with young ones and small groups. As an old friend of mine used to say, ‘God gives us the people for our lives’. Sometimes we also need to seek them out.

Guidance in vulnerability

He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
And holds them close to his heart;
He gently guides those who have young.

– Isaiah 40:11 (NIV)

God has ministered to me greatly through these words. As I think on them, I feel Jesus caring for my young and caring for me. I particularly like the truth that God guides us gently. He guides us gently because he knows we are often vulnerable. I have been fragile. God guides with care.

I have found my Father has gently guided me so often through the wisdom of my mother who lives away, and my friend Bron Tait. Generally speaking we have not gone this way before with parenting challenges. It is all new. I believe we need wise women who have come through our season of life and can help guide us. Ask God for such a woman if you are lacking in this area of your life.

Drip feeding on the Word

When mothering our young I think it is good to offload expectations of how we connect with God. The very acts of mothering invite us to commune with him – feeling the Father’s love for us and our children as we hold or care for them. This said, there are times when it may be hard to connect with God’s love wherever we seek it. When I was severely depressed in hospital I read almost everything in the Bible through a negative lens – about me failing God. In response I took three lines of scripture to meditate on (Lamentations 3:21-23) and let others minister to me for some months until I was well enough to interact with it again.

There are many ways to connect with God in prayer and Scripture. In times of less sleep from caring for a baby or general busyness, I have often taken a snacking approach to feeding my soul. In these times I may write out a scripture, just one verse and put it on a note, leaving it around the house, to look at it amidst the day. Sometimes rest is the most important thing to do with down time. Resting with the Word close by to think on can be a good way to drift into a nap. I’ve found Bible phone apps such as Lectio 365 also refreshing. As I write this I see a blackbird out the window pecking the dirt beneath the fruit trees in the quest for grub. We also can peck away and be fed in whatever way suits us best.

That’s all for this post. If you haven’t already, do have a listen to Roly McConnell talk about alcohol and drug addictions on the latest episode of the Reviving Hope podcast.

Have a good rest of your week, perhaps a winter holiday,

Blessings,

Bronnie Tressler

Photo by Kristina Paukshtite on Pexels.com

Drug and Alcohol Addiction

With Roly McConnell

Winter has taken off with a blast where I am! I hope this finds you warm and well. We are in the midst of winter ills here so it’s nice to be able to hide away a little and prepare this episode. Make yourself a hot cuppa and enjoy listening to this message. I am so grateful for my guest Roly McConnell.

You can listen to the Reviving Hope podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts and wherever you like to listen. This episode Roly shares with us what led him to work in the challenging field of alcohol and drug addiction. He imparts learning from those who have worked to reduce the harm they cause others. We hear how to best to support a person with an alcohol or drug addiction. Roly works for He Waka Tapu, a kaupapa Māori organisation. They provide wrap around services for the person and their whānau affected by addiction. The relationship between mental health and addiction is explored with interesting findings. Finally Roly speaks about people of faith who have an addiction and how they can draw on supports within their faith community. Listening to this interview you can’t help but appreciate Roly’s lifetime of experience, respect, and awhi for whaiora and their whānau. I feel privileged to have had this opportunity to interview Roly. This conversation is a taonga.

He Waka Tapu has a wide range of services for those affected by drug and alcohol addiction. They are situated in Ōtautahi Christchurch, Hakatere Ashburton and in the Chatham Islands of Aotearoa New Zealand. For more information visit www.hewakatapu.org.nz

Consider sharing this with a friend who may enjoy it too.

Blessings,

Bronnie

Painting by Kay Ward

Being Healthy in a Church – Pt 2

With Richard Black

The second episode of ‘Being Healthy in a Church’ is out! In this last episode counsellor Richard Black shares insights into the gift that forgiveness is to our mental wellbeing. He teaches what forgiveness is and what it isn’t. He also makes a compelling case for the benefits of forgiveness for the person who forgives.

We may leave a church for a variety of reasons, some very practical while others more complex. Here Richard discusses the more complex type and a process for communicating with church leaders in healthy ways. He also speaks to the need to be considerate of pastors’ mental wellbeing.

“Forgiveness is actually about letting us off the hook of carrying such a soul destroying unforgiveness”…

I am grateful for Richard’s contribution to these episodes. Part one is available on your podcast platform. The introductory conversation to both can be listened to on my last post called, ‘Being Healthy in a Church – Part One’.

 Richard is a sought after counsellor and speaker. For more information about Richard and his counselling business you can visit Mind Health www.mindhealth.org 

Korimako Church -Palmerston North

Last month I had the privilege of travelling to Palmerston North to Korimako Vineyard Church. I shared my story at a women’s gathering. I had a wonderful time with Amy Tait (above left), the Tait whānau and the lovely women there.

Go well this Autumn season,

Bronnie