Tag: faith

Reflections

Dear friends,

Thank you for your kind and supportive messages following my last post. I am much improved since last writing. Friendships and family and a few adjustments to life have all helped. And as always medications play their part.

This post I thought I’d capture some brief moments from the year.

Light House at Warea, Taranaki, Aotearoa New Zealand.

Early this year we went as a family to New Plymouth, Taranaki where we had very precious time with family and friends. I find a visit to a lighthouse good for my soul. This was a trip we will always treasure. We have had the sad passing of family and friends this year. I am so grateful for how we have been blessed by their presence in our lives.

Almost the entire year we have had major road works. For weeks, day and night underground water was pumped down our street gutters. The volume of water found by contractors exceeded their expectations and sparked my imagination – this water, living water rushing beneath our streets.

The end result including traffic lights is a huge improvement particularly for cyclists and pedestrians going to school and home safely. Our local dairy had an armed robbery in recent weeks. This has been very concerning as our city has had more crimes like this.

This spring I found my one first peonie rose flower. I planted it about 8 years ago near a basketball hoop and surprise it got trampled! I had thought it was dead. It will definitely find a new home. In this last term I started going to a beginners watercolour painting course. It has been helpful for me to pick up an interest, meet new people and gain artistic skills. We have a fantastic teacher. I’m in for next year.

Jono and I

This month Jono and I have been married 20 years! What a lot has happened in that time. Two babies – now teens, me becoming unwell and becoming well again. We have grown as a couple. It hasn’t always been easy. I think we are very good for each other having accomplished what we have because of being a team with complimentary approaches. I look forward to how we continue to grow together in the coming years and see what God wants to do as we love and serve others.

Conical Hill, Hanmer Springs

Thank you for tracking with me over these past months. I so appreciate the encouraging words given. It has been nice to see there have been readers from overseas. I hope you find encouragements within my posts and do follow my blog if you don’t already.

I pray that you will be blessed this Christmas season and know the freshness of hope found in the person of Jesus Christ. He is our guide, anchor and our light through what can be low lit or worrisome days. If you haven’t read the Bible before, can I encourage you to get a free Bible app (You Version is fabulous) and watch a short daily video or start reading the book of John. Hear the words of Jesus. Even if it’s just for 3 mins a day. Reading the Bible with an open heart has allowed God to transform my life and continue to. Give yourself a gift for your soul this holiday season. God can strengthen your soul as you draw on the love he has for you.

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. – John 1:14

That’s a wonder-filled Christmas thought to finish on!

Mere Kirihimete, Merry Christmas,

Bronnie

Self-Compassion in the Alleyway

Fifteen years ago my experience of losing touch with reality was a sliding scale. My sister was missing and I was mentally, emotionally, and spiritually overwhelmed by what we were experiencing. Today as I walk past this alleyway on a park route, I can picture the scene, a day in a life unraveling.

It’s Autumn 2010. She is 32 years old, a wife and mother of a baby and toddler. Arriving home at the end of the day she finds no one at home. I don’t know where she has been. She has no key to get into the house.  It seems a logical idea to go to her friend’s house, a ten minute walk away. The clothes on the washing line are getting damp so she quickly unpegs them, and dumps the laundry into the baby’s buggy left outside. She doesn’t want the clothes to get stolen while she’s gone. So she pushes the baby buggy full of laundry through the neighbourhood. These actions make perfect sense to her. She walks through the local park going quickly through the alleyway where has recently feared for her safety. When she arrives unannounced to her friend’s house there is no one there. Sighting the petrol station at the corner of the street, she’s off on a mission. At the end of this day, this crazy day, she is taken from the floor of the petrol station for a mental and physical assessment (and is later sent home). Another day, much more unwell she is committed under the mental health act and admitted to hospital.

Today as I walk along this path, I don’t recoil, it’s not a trigger of sorts. Quite the opposite. I actually sense a warmth inside of me – a deep sense of God’s compassion for me. I also feel this compassion from me to myself. I now understand this woman, this mother, so vulnerable. This stretch of large trees and grey gravel has become an almost sacred place. For there the Holy Spirit reminds me time and again, that God was with me in my distress. I was seen and loved.

The reason I have shared this small snippet of a day in decline is because I want to encourage self-compassion for those who have come undone, often in front of others. When looking back on events that you’d rather forget – please know there is more self-compassion to feel. It might be a mental health episode, it might be something else. It could be in your family, at work, church, all of these or more. However it happened, you unraveled.

Making peace with yourself is easier said than done. If appropriate, apologising for what you had control over can be helpful. Shame can loom long. I am so grateful to those who showed me how gracious God is by what they said, didn’t say, for loving reassurances (those were uncountable) and for putting the old things behind us. Women helped restore my life, to germinate confidence and to focus on hope for the day at hand.

‘We love because he first loved us’ – 1 John 4:19

We learn to love because we are loved. To learn self-compassion I first needed to experience Father God’s compassion for me through important people in my life. After a mania, a psychosis that lasted months, I came out the other side highly anxious, severely depressed and cognitively affected. My friend and mentor Bron Tait helped guide me to the arms of the Father. Bron and my mother were compassionate and wise souls giving soul care that helped save my life.

What I share about self-compassion has come out of a long walk with a loving heavenly Father. Those earlier times were marked with wrestling, grief and angst. Over a long period of time I came to a growing revelation of Jesus’ love for me. I came out of that desert more in love with Jesus than ever before.

In receiving God’s love, I think there is some soul care to be done independent of other’s. I think in a sense we need to scoop up and hold our ‘self’, however unattractive, before the One who loves us. It is surrender to love. It is acceptance of where we are, who we are right now. We can lean our weight of belief in God’s forgiveness and kindness towards us. We can activate our faith in Jesus’ work at the Cross for us – to align ourselves with the freedom this brings from condemnation*. We can also learn to trace the compassion of God in our story. Journaling can help with seeing the thread of God’s love and faithfulness in our lives. We can know that all along we have been loved and ever will be. This is true self-compassion first born in Love.

Perhaps you are one who can help encourage another, holding the compassion they need. Or like me – you’ve been the person at the centre of this story. If you can’t find this compassion, seek out a wise and loving friend who can hold that that for you, until you feel it for yourself. Belonging to a healthy Christian church is also a great foundation from which to grow and heal. You may also want to ask God to give you a place of revelation, scriptures, things that help you hook onto God’s compassion. And in doing so, may you find compassion for yourself.

I pray that for you,

Arohanui,

Bronnie

*Romans 8:1 Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

P.S. It’s been a slow start to the year but more material is coming!

4 responses to “Self-Compassion in the Alleyway”

  1. Susan Richardson Avatar
    Susan Richardson

    Love it Bron.
    Self compassion is so important.
    (These words seem so small, when what I’m trying to say is “I see you”)
    Much love xxx

    Get Outlook for Androidhttps://aka.ms/AAb9ysg

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    1. reviving hope Avatar
      reviving hope

      Thanks so much for your lovely comment Susan. That means a lot. I feel very blessed to hear from you! ❤️

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  2. Kathy Mayes Avatar
    Kathy Mayes

    Dear Bron,

    Thankyou for your expression of this time of deep vulnerability and how the love and wisdom , expressed in compassion , has been and is so deeply restorative and life giving. A living encounter with love.

    You are a gift and your words are gift.

    Thankyou

    Kathy

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    1. reviving hope Avatar
      reviving hope

      Hi Kathy,
      Thank you for your kind and thoughtful words. I am encouraged. I like ‘a living encounter with love’. What a beautiful phrase! Arohanui, Bron

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Mothers with Young

Kia Ora friend,

We are almost halfway through winter in Aotearoa, New Zealand. It’s nice the days are beginning to get longer.

Last week I shared some of my story with a group of mothers with babies. Preparing for this I reflected on what helped me during this season of my life. I thought I’d share some of it with you.

 When the boys were two and seven months old we had a tragic loss (for more on this listen to episode one of the Reviving Hope podcast). This set off a bipolar episode for me. I was in hospital with our baby for some months. I had medications and an holistic approach to rehabilitation. I returned home from hospital severely depressed, anxious and with OCD thinking. Despite this I had to do all the things a mother needs to do. Getting out of bed in the morning was incredibly difficult.  

We had phenomenal support from family, friends, neighbours, church whānau, and mental health services. God restored me as I mothered, as I did those every day necessary activities, the routines, and structures that organised me. I was getting up at a regular time, walking to kindy, talking with other mothers, making meals, doing the laundry, gathering with church and doing everything else. The activities of daily life were therapeutic for me. I knew these principals from my previous work as an occupational therapist but had to put them into practice. I enrolled in my local Bible College. While studying it gave me a mental break from my anxiety as I had other positive things to think about. God used all these things to help me get well.

I thought I’d share some thoughts and reflections on my spiritual life when mothering.

Pray above the noise

When the kids were young I met with a couple of Christian friends who would catch up and pray together. My friend Ruth was great at seizing the moment, making opportunity to pray together near the end of a visit, but before the kids got too spent. She would pray above the noise and we would stop when we were drowned out by the kids, and then go home. No matter how short a time we prayed I always felt ministered to.

If you don’t have good supports, I encourage you to ask Father God to bring people to you, and guide you to places you can meet and pray with others. Many churches provide groups for mothers with young ones and small groups. As an old friend of mine used to say, ‘God gives us the people for our lives’. Sometimes we also need to seek them out.

Guidance in vulnerability

He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
And holds them close to his heart;
He gently guides those who have young.

– Isaiah 40:11 (NIV)

God has ministered to me greatly through these words. As I think on them, I feel Jesus caring for my young and caring for me. I particularly like the truth that God guides us gently. He guides us gently because he knows we are often vulnerable. I have been fragile. God guides with care.

I have found my Father has gently guided me so often through the wisdom of my mother who lives away, and my friend Bron Tait. Generally speaking we have not gone this way before with parenting challenges. It is all new. I believe we need wise women who have come through our season of life and can help guide us. Ask God for such a woman if you are lacking in this area of your life.

Drip feeding on the Word

When mothering our young I think it is good to offload expectations of how we connect with God. The very acts of mothering invite us to commune with him – feeling the Father’s love for us and our children as we hold or care for them. This said, there are times when it may be hard to connect with God’s love wherever we seek it. When I was severely depressed in hospital I read almost everything in the Bible through a negative lens – about me failing God. In response I took three lines of scripture to meditate on (Lamentations 3:21-23) and let others minister to me for some months until I was well enough to interact with it again.

There are many ways to connect with God in prayer and Scripture. In times of less sleep from caring for a baby or general busyness, I have often taken a snacking approach to feeding my soul. In these times I may write out a scripture, just one verse and put it on a note, leaving it around the house, to look at it amidst the day. Sometimes rest is the most important thing to do with down time. Resting with the Word close by to think on can be a good way to drift into a nap. I’ve found Bible phone apps such as Lectio 365 also refreshing. As I write this I see a blackbird out the window pecking the dirt beneath the fruit trees in the quest for grub. We also can peck away and be fed in whatever way suits us best.

That’s all for this post. If you haven’t already, do have a listen to Roly McConnell talk about alcohol and drug addictions on the latest episode of the Reviving Hope podcast.

Have a good rest of your week, perhaps a winter holiday,

Blessings,

Bronnie Tressler

Photo by Kristina Paukshtite on Pexels.com

Drug and Alcohol Addiction

With Roly McConnell

Winter has taken off with a blast where I am! I hope this finds you warm and well. We are in the midst of winter ills here so it’s nice to be able to hide away a little and prepare this episode. Make yourself a hot cuppa and enjoy listening to this message. I am so grateful for my guest Roly McConnell.

You can listen to the Reviving Hope podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts and wherever you like to listen. This episode Roly shares with us what led him to work in the challenging field of alcohol and drug addiction. He imparts learning from those who have worked to reduce the harm they cause others. We hear how to best to support a person with an alcohol or drug addiction. Roly works for He Waka Tapu, a kaupapa Māori organisation. They provide wrap around services for the person and their whānau affected by addiction. The relationship between mental health and addiction is explored with interesting findings. Finally Roly speaks about people of faith who have an addiction and how they can draw on supports within their faith community. Listening to this interview you can’t help but appreciate Roly’s lifetime of experience, respect, and awhi for whaiora and their whānau. I feel privileged to have had this opportunity to interview Roly. This conversation is a taonga.

He Waka Tapu has a wide range of services for those affected by drug and alcohol addiction. They are situated in Ōtautahi Christchurch, Hakatere Ashburton and in the Chatham Islands of Aotearoa New Zealand. For more information visit www.hewakatapu.org.nz

Consider sharing this with a friend who may enjoy it too.

Blessings,

Bronnie

Painting by Kay Ward

Being Healthy in a Church – Pt 1

Introduction & Episode 1 with Richard Black

Hello friend,

This post Richard Black and I are chatting about church – what makes it so great and how to find one.

Being Healthy In a Church: Introductory Conversation

In this introduction we talk about what church is, why we enjoy being in it, and how it can help in times of crisis. Richard discusses how to search for a church and about how to know if a church is healthy. Ignore the bit where I say this is episode 1. Episode 1 is on the podcast below!

Richard is the founder and director of Mind Health. He is sought after as a counsellor, coach and communicator, and has been involved in people work for over 25 years. Richard has vast experience in church ministry and supporting pastors. Through his counselling, training, and public speaking he helps people enhance their thinking, be proactive in relationships, and thrive in life. Mind Health have counsellors in Christchurch and in other locations around Aotearoa, New Zealand. They offer in person and online services.

You can find out more about Mind Health and Richard here: mindhealth.org

If you haven’t already, I encourage you to sign up to this blog for extras that I put out with episodes.

Podcast episode: Being Healthy In a Church – Part 1

Richard and I discuss what it can be like looking for a Christian church. Richard also covers how to serve and give in church in a centred way – balancing our needs in different seasons of our lives. We also discuss healthy ways to perceive church leaders. Reviving Hope episodes are available on Spotify (below), Apple Podcasts, Podbean and all major podcast platforms.

Event!

I’m speaking at the following Women’s Event in Palmerston North. Come join us for the afternoon or pass this invite on to a woman in the area who could benefit from some encouragement.

Hui Wahine

SATURDAY 9TH OF MARCH 2-5 pm $5pp

Korimako Vineyard Church 117 College Street, Palmerston North. 😁

Come join us for a special afternoon of encouragement. Bring your friends ❤️ We are going to be having a conversation about looking after our mental health and well-being, and how God can minister to us through lots of different ways, from prayer, community, counselling and medical support. We’ll have worship and yummy afternoon tea and finish the evening off by heading to town for tea for those who want the girls day to continue on!

Do get in touch if you have any feedback about episodes. If you’re loving it consider leaving a review with your podcast provider. I am grateful for your support.

Be blessed as you enter a new month!

Ngā mihi nui,

Bronnie Tressler

email: bronnie@revivinghope.life

Thinking of You

Dear Friend,

It’s been a while since I’ve landed in your inbox, but I want you to know I am thinking of you and creating content for the podcast. I’m making progress and look forward to releasing it.

Lately I’ve been doing a course on inner healing which has been good declaring faith for areas of weakness. There are always things to work on! I thought I’d tell you something I did recently to stretch myself a little. You may be able to relate to something similar.

Jono and I were part of an antenatal group when I was pregnant with our first son. It was an especially nice group of couples. There is no expectation that groups like that stay together after the course but ours continued to meet in each other’s homes and talked about baby things. We have a lovely family friendship that came out of this group.

As time went on we met annually. Then people were having their second and for some third babies. It may sound silly but I found it hard getting parents and children’s names right when talking to them. The more worried or anxious I was about getting it wrong – the worse it got and I felt very embarrassed. I think this is related to the lack of confidence I experienced after having a mental health episode. As much as I liked the people, I decided to stop going to these meet ups.

Fast forward to last month, several years later. I got the invite to go to the annual get together. I knew I wanted to go but was still hesitant to step out of my comfort zone and reconnect with these families. While meeting my friend from the group I told her what was holding me back. Just telling her aloud about it and her response was all it needed. I told her on the spot I was coming. Later she told me who was coming and I had a revise of names.

On the day it wasn’t a big deal but I did feel a little apprehensive going in. Arriving in the door I was warmly welcomed. I had such a lovely time with these women. It wasn’t a big group. I was relaxed and remembered names. Looking at these kids who had morphed into 16 year olds was something to behold. It was so special to see what had happened within all those years. I felt moved. It was a sacred moment to take in. I’m grateful I had made the effort.

Many people struggle with low confidence or other things that can affect how they interact with others. There are many things we can exclude ourselves from when we are feeling low. I don’t have a big lesson to draw from but I do think God invites us to do things that He knows we can do with His and other’s help. He knows how fulfilling it can be to overcome a fear. There is a reward.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.

Joshua 1:9

There are some great faith building messages on podcasts by people such as a favorite of mine, Rick Warren. I think many of us need a regular dose of faith and confidence in what God can do in our lives. I keep being reminded that courage makes progress in the presence of fear. See below for a link to a great podcast. Rick’s ‘Fifty Days of Faith’ ended recently but were great messages you can go back and listen to. His current teaching is on love and regular emails are also excellent.

Podcast

I’ll finish by putting out one of my favorite songs that will appear on my podcast. I am grateful to my church Grace Vineyard in Christchurch for permission to use this original song written by Bazi Baker, Benjamin MacGregor and featuring Joshua MacGregor.

Have a great month ahead,

Blessings,

Bronnie Tressler

Produced by Joshua MacGregor, Joel Sangster Mixed by Ian McAllister Mastered by Mat Mainhard Stream our new album ‘Send the Rain’ on all platforms now. smarturl.it/gvmstr SOCIALS: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gracevineya... Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/gracevineyar... Website: https://www.gracevineyardmusic.com © 2019 Grace Vineyard Music

Photograph by Bronnie Tressler. Taken at Queens Park native garden Invercargill.