I am pleased to announce the arrival of a new Reviving Hope podcast episode! This time I talk with Richard Black about what happens in the space after someone receives a mental health diagnosis. Richard discusses the hope that neuroplasticity offers, and how we can learn to regulate our emotions. I share from my personal experience of being diagnosed with bipolar disorder and the hope that I found following this. Richard is a counsellor and sought after speaker in Aotearoa New Zealand. Richard and I did a recording a few years ago on this topic and got great feedback about it. This time we revisit it with new content for a fresh message.
Richard provides counselling, leadership coaching, training, supervision and church consultation through his organisation Thriving Churches. To find out more you can visit thrivingchurcheshq.
Questions from the podcast episode, for those who have a mental health diagnosis:
What are any benefits you have had from being given a diagnosis?
a) Has being given a diagnosis negatively affected how you see yourself and what you are capable of? b) If so, how could you challenge these beliefs?
What dreams or goals might be realised if you let go of self-limiting beliefs?
What did you learn about neuroplasticity and the relationship of the mind to the brain (the brain’s ability to be shaped by what we think on)?
From what you’ve heard, is there an exercise or approach for managing anxiety you could find helpful to try, e.g., breathing exercises, implementing the four A’s?
If you think it would be helpful, consider discussing your findings with a trusted friend. As always, please do seek out professional help if you need it.
Do subscribe, and share this episode with someone who may be encouraged by this message.
Fifteen years ago my experience of losing touch with reality was a sliding scale. My sister was missing and I was mentally, emotionally, and spiritually overwhelmed by what we were experiencing. Today as I walk past this alleyway on a park route, I can picture the scene, a day in a life unraveling.
It’s Autumn 2010. She is 32 years old, a wife and mother of a baby and toddler. Arriving home at the end of the day she finds no one at home. I don’t know where she has been. She has no key to get into the house. It seems a logical idea to go to her friend’s house, a ten minute walk away. The clothes on the washing line are getting damp so she quickly unpegs them, and dumps the laundry into the baby’s buggy left outside. She doesn’t want the clothes to get stolen while she’s gone. So she pushes the baby buggy full of laundry through the neighbourhood. These actions make perfect sense to her. She walks through the local park going quickly through the alleyway where has recently feared for her safety. When she arrives unannounced to her friend’s house there is no one there. Sighting the petrol station at the corner of the street, she’s off on a mission. At the end of this day, this crazy day, she is taken from the floor of the petrol station for a mental and physical assessment (and is later sent home). Another day, much more unwell she is committed under the mental health act and admitted to hospital.
Today as I walk along this path, I don’t recoil, it’s not a trigger of sorts. Quite the opposite. I actually sense a warmth inside of me – a deep sense of God’s compassion for me. I also feel this compassion from me to myself. I now understand this woman, this mother, so vulnerable. This stretch of large trees and grey gravel has become an almost sacred place. For there the Holy Spirit reminds me time and again, that God was with me in my distress. I was seen and loved.
The reason I have shared this small snippet of a day in decline is because I want to encourage self-compassion for those who have come undone, often in front of others. When looking back on events that you’d rather forget – please know there is more self-compassion to feel. It might be a mental health episode, it might be something else. It could be in your family, at work, church, all of these or more. However it happened, you unraveled.
Making peace with yourself is easier said than done. If appropriate, apologising for what you had control over can be helpful. Shame can loom long. I am so grateful to those who showed me how gracious God is by what they said, didn’t say, for loving reassurances (those were uncountable) and for putting the old things behind us. Women helped restore my life, to germinate confidence and to focus on hope for the day at hand.
‘We love because he first loved us’ – 1 John 4:19
We learn to love because we are loved. To learn self-compassion I first needed to experience Father God’s compassion for me through important people in my life. After a mania, a psychosis that lasted months, I came out the other side highly anxious, severely depressed and cognitively affected. My friend and mentor Bron Tait helped guide me to the arms of the Father. Bron and my mother were compassionate and wise souls giving soul care that helped save my life.
What I share about self-compassion has come out of a long walk with a loving heavenly Father. Those earlier times were marked with wrestling, grief and angst. Over a long period of time I came to a growing revelation of Jesus’ love for me. I came out of that desert more in love with Jesus than ever before.
In receiving God’s love, I think there is some soul care to be done independent of other’s. I think in a sense we need to scoop up and hold our ‘self’, however unattractive, before the One who loves us. It is surrender to love. It is acceptance of where we are, who we are right now. We can lean our weight of belief in God’s forgiveness and kindness towards us. We can activate our faith in Jesus’ work at the Cross for us – to align ourselves with the freedom this brings from condemnation*. We can also learn to trace the compassion of God in our story. Journaling can help with seeing the thread of God’s love and faithfulness in our lives. We can know that all along we have been loved and ever will be. This is true self-compassion first born in Love.
Perhaps you are one who can help encourage another, holding the compassion they need. Or like me – you’ve been the person at the centre of this story. If you can’t find this compassion, seek out a wise and loving friend who can hold that that for you, until you feel it for yourself. Belonging to a healthy Christian church is also a great foundation from which to grow and heal. You may also want to ask God to give you a place of revelation, scriptures, things that help you hook onto God’s compassion. And in doing so, may you find compassion for yourself.
I pray that for you,
Arohanui,
Bronnie
*Romans 8:1 Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
P.S. It’s been a slow start to the year but more material is coming!
4 responses to “Self-Compassion in the Alleyway”
Susan Richardson
Love it Bron.
Self compassion is so important.
(These words seem so small, when what I’m trying to say is “I see you”)
Much love xxx
Thankyou for your expression of this time of deep vulnerability and how the love and wisdom , expressed in compassion , has been and is so deeply restorative and life giving. A living encounter with love.
Hi Kathy,
Thank you for your kind and thoughtful words. I am encouraged. I like ‘a living encounter with love’. What a beautiful phrase! Arohanui, Bron
In this episode my guest Brett Harvey shares a powerful message.
Brett is the founder of Tāima Kōrero, Time to Talk, a charitable trust that equips parents and educators with the tools to effectively talk about pornography with children and youth. It is helping to mitigate the harmful effects of pornography on young people in Aotearoa New Zealand.
I recently heard Brett speak at a Tāima Kōrero event for parents. I found it incredibly helpful. Brett is an outstanding communicator as you will hear in this conversation. If you are a parent, educator, youth leader or church leader, you will benefit from hearing this conversation.
Brett also has a message for those who consume porn and wish they could give it up. He shares from his own recovery journey. Brett gives practical advice and hope for those finding this journey tough, and for the people who support them. Many who use porn suffer from the shame associated with it. Brett points out from his observations, that ‘churched’ kids experience significantly more shame than those in the general population. This is all the more reason for church leaders to talk about porn, and equip themselves with the resources to do this. Many of us know from lived experience, that shame from mental illness can cause isolation and suffering. There will be those who use porn and experience mental health challenges as well. Please share this vital message with friends, family and church leaders.
Tāima Kōrero has a website with excellent resources. You can also contact Brett through the website:
For counselling services you can visit Mind Health who are based in Christchurch, Aotearoa New Zealand. They also have counsellors in other centers, and offer online counselling.
Ngā mihi nui to Brett for his contribution to the podcast.
Subscribe if you are new to Reviving Hope and would like episodes as they are released in 2025.
It’s wonderful that spring is here! More daylight hours really lifts the soul.
When I was younger I avoided reading a particular story about Jesus, but in recent years it has become a significant marker in my spiritual and mental health journey.
This podcast episode I retell this story that has changed my life. It is about a wild man who Jesus heals and restores in a holistic way. It is a confronting miracle that touches every part of this man’s life. He makes a journey from being out of his mind, homeless, and tormented – to being restored, heading back to his home and family. He is a new man, saved and healed by Jesus. This man is given a life mission that equals the greatness of his healing. I believe this powerful transformation offers hope for Jesus’ compassion and healing work in our lives. I also share from my own holistic mental health journey.
I love hearing from listeners so please do drop me a line if you enjoyed listening or if you are interested in finding out more about Jesus.
We are almost halfway through winter in Aotearoa, New Zealand. It’s nice the days are beginning to get longer.
Last week I shared some of my story with a group of mothers with babies. Preparing for this I reflected on what helped me during this season of my life. I thought I’d share some of it with you.
When the boys were two and seven months old we had a tragic loss (for more on this listen to episode one of the Reviving Hope podcast). This set off a bipolar episode for me. I was in hospital with our baby for some months. I had medications and an holistic approach to rehabilitation. I returned home from hospital severely depressed, anxious and with OCD thinking. Despite this I had to do all the things a mother needs to do. Getting out of bed in the morning was incredibly difficult.
We had phenomenal support from family, friends, neighbours, church whānau, and mental health services. God restored me as I mothered, as I did those every day necessary activities, the routines, and structures that organised me. I was getting up at a regular time, walking to kindy, talking with other mothers, making meals, doing the laundry, gathering with church and doing everything else. The activities of daily life were therapeutic for me. I knew these principals from my previous work as an occupational therapist but had to put them into practice. I enrolled in my local Bible College. While studying it gave me a mental break from my anxiety as I had other positive things to think about. God used all these things to help me get well.
I thought I’d share some thoughts and reflections on my spiritual life when mothering.
Pray above the noise
When the kids were young I met with a couple of Christian friends who would catch up and pray together. My friend Ruth was great at seizing the moment, making opportunity to pray together near the end of a visit, but before the kids got too spent. She would pray above the noise and we would stop when we were drowned out by the kids, and then go home. No matter how short a time we prayed I always felt ministered to.
If you don’t have good supports, I encourage you to ask Father God to bring people to you, and guide you to places you can meet and pray with others. Many churches provide groups for mothers with young ones and small groups. As an old friend of mine used to say, ‘God gives us the people for our lives’. Sometimes we also need to seek them out.
Guidance in vulnerability
He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms And holds them close to his heart; He gently guides those who have young.
– Isaiah 40:11 (NIV)
God has ministered to me greatly through these words. As I think on them, I feel Jesus caring for my young and caring for me. I particularly like the truth that God guides us gently. He guides us gently because he knows we are often vulnerable. I have been fragile. God guides with care.
I have found my Father has gently guided me so often through the wisdom of my mother who lives away, and my friend Bron Tait. Generally speaking we have not gone this way before with parenting challenges. It is all new. I believe we need wise women who have come through our season of life and can help guide us. Ask God for such a woman if you are lacking in this area of your life.
Drip feeding on the Word
When mothering our young I think it is good to offload expectations of how we connect with God. The very acts of mothering invite us to commune with him – feeling the Father’s love for us and our children as we hold or care for them. This said, there are times when it may be hard to connect with God’s love wherever we seek it. When I was severely depressed in hospital I read almost everything in the Bible through a negative lens – about me failing God. In response I took three lines of scripture to meditate on (Lamentations 3:21-23) and let others minister to me for some months until I was well enough to interact with it again.
There are many ways to connect with God in prayer and Scripture. In times of less sleep from caring for a baby or general busyness, I have often taken a snacking approach to feeding my soul. In these times I may write out a scripture, just one verse and put it on a note, leaving it around the house, to look at it amidst the day. Sometimes rest is the most important thing to do with down time. Resting with the Word close by to think on can be a good way to drift into a nap. I’ve found Bible phone apps such as Lectio 365 also refreshing. As I write this I see a blackbird out the window pecking the dirt beneath the fruit trees in the quest for grub. We also can peck away and be fed in whatever way suits us best.
That’s all for this post. If you haven’t already, do have a listen to Roly McConnell talk about alcohol and drug addictions on the latest episode of the Reviving Hope podcast.
Have a good rest of your week, perhaps a winter holiday,
Winter has taken off with a blast where I am! I hope this finds you warm and well. We are in the midst of winter ills here so it’s nice to be able to hide away a little and prepare this episode. Make yourself a hot cuppa and enjoy listening to this message. I am so grateful for my guest Roly McConnell.
You can listen to the Reviving Hope podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts and wherever you like to listen. This episode Roly shares with us what led him to work in the challenging field of alcohol and drug addiction. He imparts learning from those who have worked to reduce the harm they cause others. We hear how to best to support a person with an alcohol or drug addiction. Roly works for He Waka Tapu, a kaupapa Māori organisation. They provide wrap around services for the person and their whānau affected by addiction. The relationship between mental health and addiction is explored with interesting findings. Finally Roly speaks about people of faith who have an addiction and how they can draw on supports within their faith community. Listening to this interview you can’t help but appreciate Roly’s lifetime of experience, respect, and awhi for whaiora and their whānau. I feel privileged to have had this opportunity to interview Roly. This conversation is a taonga.
He Waka Tapu has a wide range of services for those affected by drug and alcohol addiction. They are situated in Ōtautahi Christchurch, Hakatere Ashburton and in the Chatham Islands of Aotearoa New Zealand. For more information visit www.hewakatapu.org.nz
Consider sharing this with a friend who may enjoy it too.
This post Richard Black and I are chatting about church – what makes it so great and how to find one.
Being Healthy In a Church:Introductory Conversation
In this introduction we talk about what church is, why we enjoy being in it, and how it can help in times of crisis. Richard discusses how to search for a church and about how to know if a church is healthy. Ignore the bit where I say this is episode 1. Episode 1 is on the podcast below!
Richard is the founder and director of Mind Health. He is sought after as a counsellor, coach and communicator, and has been involved in people work for over 25 years. Richard has vast experience in church ministry and supporting pastors. Through his counselling, training, and public speaking he helps people enhance their thinking, be proactive in relationships, and thrive in life. Mind Health have counsellors in Christchurch and in other locations around Aotearoa, New Zealand. They offer in person and online services.
You can find out more about Mind Health and Richard here: mindhealth.org
If you haven’t already, I encourage you to sign up to this blog for extras that I put out with episodes.
Podcast episode: Being Healthy In a Church – Part 1
Richard and I discuss what it can be like looking for a Christian church. Richard also covers how to serve and give in church in a centred way – balancing our needs in different seasons of our lives. We also discuss healthy ways to perceive church leaders. Reviving Hope episodes are available on Spotify (below), Apple Podcasts, Podbean and all major podcast platforms.
Event!
I’m speaking at the following Women’s Event in Palmerston North. Come join us for the afternoon or pass this invite on to a woman in the area who could benefit from some encouragement.
Hui Wahine
SATURDAY 9TH OF MARCH2-5 pm $5pp
Korimako Vineyard Church 117 College Street, Palmerston North. 😁
Come join us for a special afternoon of encouragement. Bring your friends ❤️ We are going to be having a conversation about looking after our mental health and well-being, and how God can minister to us through lots of different ways, from prayer, community, counselling and medical support. We’ll have worship and yummy afternoon tea and finish the evening off by heading to town for tea for those who want the girls day to continue on!
Do get in touch if you have any feedback about episodes. If you’re loving it consider leaving a review with your podcast provider. I am grateful for your support.
Available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts and all major podcasting platforms
Kia Ora friend,
In the latest Reviving Hope podcast episode Phil Tait talks with me about a powerful practice for renewing our minds, and strengthening our souls.
This conversation is about the benefits of meditating on and memorising Scripture. You will hear it is an activity that changed Phil’s mental health and caused him to thrive in life.
Over many years Phil has ministered in different denominations in New Zealand. Phil is married to Bron who also appears on the podcast (see episode two for Bron Tait’s Story). Most recently Phil and Bron are ministering in Vineyard churches in Christchurch and around New Zealand. They also minister in a church in Melbourne Australia.
Renew Your Mind – Ideas for Learning Scripture
Learning scripture in small steps has also helped me in my mental health and wellbeing.
Meditating on and learning Scripture is powerful but is worth noting that it is just one way of renewing our minds and strengthening our relationship with God.
‘I get into this because I enjoy it…It’s a discipline too but I’ve seen the effects on my life ‘
Phil Tait
My mind needs regular exercise. I notice that in the times I am learning Scripture, I know more inner strength and stability in my emotions.
For reference, the Bible, the Word, and Scripture are all referring to the same thing.
Why meditate on and memorise Scripture if you are struggling emotionally?
God’s Word is alive and active (Hebrews 4:12). God can renew our minds and strengthen our inner being. We get saved in a moment but need to participate in the process of renewing our minds.
If we are thinking on God’s truths we can give our minds a rest from unhelpful thoughts. This activity of learning Scripture is helping train our brain what to think on. Learning something new is also a good activity for our brains.
Some ideas formeditating on Scripture
Ask God to help you with what you are learning and to believe it for yourself.
Speak, declare, proclaim your scripture to yourself. As Phil says ‘I preach to my soul’. It can feel weird to do, but the spoken word is powerful. Proclaiming Scripture and praying in the Spirit can go well together.
Consider walking or doing something else while meditating -doubling up two good activities. I go to the park, use my phone with my Bible app, put my ear buds in and walk while speaking and thinking on what I’m learning.
Encourage yourself for whatever you do. Be pleased for the day of small beginnings. A verse a week can be an achievable way to get into this.
‘You often feel you’ve never done enough. Whatever you give to the LORD in prayer is wonderful- that you’re actually doing it’
Phil Tait
Some Scriptures on God’s Love for You
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear. 1 John 4:18 (NIV).
God is love. Whoever lives in love, lives in God, and God in them. 1 John 4:16 (NIV)
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. (Jesus’ words). John 3:16 (NIV)
The earth, O LORD is full of your steadfast love. Psalm 119:64 (NRSV)
But this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:21-23 (NRSV)
He tends his flock like a shepherd; he gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young. Isaiah 40:11 (NIV)
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38,39 (NIV)
As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you. Isaiah 66:13 (NRSV)
And I pray that you being rooted and established in love, may have power together with all the Lord’s holy people to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ and to know that love that surpasses knowledge. Ephesians 3:17-19 (NIV)
Other Scriptures
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Romans 12:2 (NIV)
Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1 (NIV)
Do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be afraid, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you. Isaiah 41:10 (NRSV)
The YouVersion Bible app has a tab in the top of the Bible reading screen where you can change the version to compare translations. They also have search options for different themes you may want verses on.
If you’ve found this podcast episode helpful do subscribe to the podcast and consider sharing it with a friend. It’s on Spotify, and Apple Podcasts.
Reviving Hope 
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