Mothers with Young

Kia Ora friend,

We are almost halfway through winter in Aotearoa, New Zealand. It’s nice the days are beginning to get longer.

Last week I shared some of my story with a group of mothers with babies. Preparing for this I reflected on what helped me during this season of my life. I thought I’d share some of it with you.

 When the boys were two and seven months old we had a tragic loss (for more on this listen to episode one of the Reviving Hope podcast). This set off a bipolar episode for me. I was in hospital with our baby for some months. I had medications and an holistic approach to rehabilitation. I returned home from hospital severely depressed, anxious and with OCD thinking. Despite this I had to do all the things a mother needs to do. Getting out of bed in the morning was incredibly difficult.  

We had phenomenal support from family, friends, neighbours, church whānau, and mental health services. God restored me as I mothered, as I did those every day necessary activities, the routines, and structures that organised me. I was getting up at a regular time, walking to kindy, talking with other mothers, making meals, doing the laundry, gathering with church and doing everything else. The activities of daily life were therapeutic for me. I knew these principals from my previous work as an occupational therapist but had to put them into practice. I enrolled in my local Bible College. While studying it gave me a mental break from my anxiety as I had other positive things to think about. God used all these things to help me get well.

I thought I’d share some thoughts and reflections on my spiritual life when mothering.

Pray above the noise

When the kids were young I met with a couple of Christian friends who would catch up and pray together. My friend Ruth was great at seizing the moment, making opportunity to pray together near the end of a visit, but before the kids got too spent. She would pray above the noise and we would stop when we were drowned out by the kids, and then go home. No matter how short a time we prayed I always felt ministered to.

If you don’t have good supports, I encourage you to ask Father God to bring people to you, and guide you to places you can meet and pray with others. Many churches provide groups for mothers with young ones and small groups. As an old friend of mine used to say, ‘God gives us the people for our lives’. Sometimes we also need to seek them out.

Guidance in vulnerability

He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
And holds them close to his heart;
He gently guides those who have young.

– Isaiah 40:11 (NIV)

God has ministered to me greatly through these words. As I think on them, I feel Jesus caring for my young and caring for me. I particularly like the truth that God guides us gently. He guides us gently because he knows we are often vulnerable. I have been fragile. God guides with care.

I have found my Father has gently guided me so often through the wisdom of my mother who lives away, and my friend Bron Tait. Generally speaking we have not gone this way before with parenting challenges. It is all new. I believe we need wise women who have come through our season of life and can help guide us. Ask God for such a woman if you are lacking in this area of your life.

Drip feeding on the Word

When mothering our young I think it is good to offload expectations of how we connect with God. The very acts of mothering invite us to commune with him – feeling the Father’s love for us and our children as we hold or care for them. This said, there are times when it may be hard to connect with God’s love wherever we seek it. When I was severely depressed in hospital I read almost everything in the Bible through a negative lens – about me failing God. In response I took three lines of scripture to meditate on (Lamentations 3:21-23) and let others minister to me for some months until I was well enough to interact with it again.

There are many ways to connect with God in prayer and Scripture. In times of less sleep from caring for a baby or general busyness, I have often taken a snacking approach to feeding my soul. In these times I may write out a scripture, just one verse and put it on a note, leaving it around the house, to look at it amidst the day. Sometimes rest is the most important thing to do with down time. Resting with the Word close by to think on can be a good way to drift into a nap. I’ve found Bible phone apps such as Lectio 365 also refreshing. As I write this I see a blackbird out the window pecking the dirt beneath the fruit trees in the quest for grub. We also can peck away and be fed in whatever way suits us best.

That’s all for this post. If you haven’t already, do have a listen to Roly McConnell talk about alcohol and drug addictions on the latest episode of the Reviving Hope podcast.

Have a good rest of your week, perhaps a winter holiday,

Blessings,

Bronnie Tressler

Photo by Kristina Paukshtite on Pexels.com